| Thanks to Wild Bill for this one|
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
- Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
- The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder.
- The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar.
- Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown.
- A university with a nude beach.
- You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
- If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your
- There's always some sort of deforestation protest going
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
- Big Rock between you and B.C.
- Ottawa who?
- Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent
for the rest of the country.
- The Premier is a fat, alcoholic who is easy to make fun
- Flames vs. Oilers.
- Stamps vs. Eskies.
- You can exploit almost any natural resource you can
- The only province that could actually afford to be its
- The Americans below you are all in anti-government
- You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband
and get away with it.
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
- You never run out of wheat.
- Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats.
- Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.
- Your province is really easy to draw.
- You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a
- It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house.
- YOUR Roughriders survived.
- You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
- People will assume you live on a farm.
- Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
- You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have
- Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg".
- All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto.
- The only province to ever violently rebel against the
- Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
- Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
- You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.
- You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your
- Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly"
even when you cut someone off.
- Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
- You live in the center of the universe.
- Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
- You and you alone decide who will win the federal
- There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist.
- Your grandparents sold booze to the States during
- Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly
believe it's a cool city.
- The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
- Much Music's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on
national TV for a dollar.
- Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the
side of house.
- Mike Harris: basically a sober Ralph Klein.
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
- Everybody assumes you're an asshole.
- Racism is socially acceptable.
- The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
- You can take bets with your friends on which English
neighbor will move out next.
- Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
- The FLQ.
- NON-smokers are the outcasts.
- You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
- You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken
- One way or another, the government gets 98 percent of
- You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
- When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention
- The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario
motorists to Boston.
- No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
- You have French people, but they don't want to kill you.
- Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
- Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed
- You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE ON PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
- The only place in North America to get bombed in the war
by a moron who set a munitions ship on fire. (Halifax Explosion)
- Your province is shaped like male genitalia.
- Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think
- If someone asks if you're a Newfie, you are allowed to
kick their ass.
- The local hero is an insane, fiddle playing, sexual
- The province that produced Rita MacNeil, the world's
largest land mammal.
- You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.
- You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse
to get drunk & wear a kilt.
- The economy is based on lobster, and fiddle music.
- Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is
considered Canada's most beautiful city.
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
- Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you
still got the big-ass bridge.
- You can walk across the province in half an hour.
- You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".
- This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.
- The economy is based on fish,potatoes, and CBC TV shows.
- Tourists arrive, see the "Anne ofGreen Gables" house,
then promptly leave.
- You can drive across the province in two minutes.
- It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.
- You don't share a border with the Americans, or with
anyone for that matter. 10. You can confuse ships by turning your
porch lights on and off at night.
- The poorest, drunkest province in Confederation.
- If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea.
- In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can
make them kiss a dead cod.
- The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related
- If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
- You & only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's
- The work day is about two hours long.
- You are credited with many great inventions, like the
solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines.
- If someone asks if you're from Cape Breton, you are
allowed to kick their ass.
- It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on
your wedding day.