|Too Much Irish Milk
One night after having a few too many pints of Guinness, this little Irish fellow stumbles out of the bar onto the street mumbling and staggering around the sidewalk holding his car keys in his hand... "Oh me god, I believe I had too much of the ol' Irish milk tonight!" he mumbles to himself.
A cop walking his beat sees the display and knowing that this could be a problem, stops the man before he can hurt anyone. "Good evening sir, you feeling O.K.?" he asks the inebriated Irishman.
"No so good, laddy." the old fellow replies. "It seems some ash-hole done stole me car, you know!" The officer rolls his eyes and says...."Where was it the last the last time you saw it, sir?" The old man holds out his hand, with his keys dangling and shouts "It was right here at the end of this key, you damn flat foot!"
Starting to get truly annoyed by the display the officer looks at the man, and realizes that the geezer's fly is open and his "short comings" are hanging out for everyone to see! "Hey mister!" He says, pointing to the old man's crotch, "What the hell happened there?"
The little drunk looks down and in shock and amazement nearly starts to cry saying "Oh my god, the bastards got me girlfriend too!"