So there was this man who lived in Canada named Bub.. and he had house right in town.. and no indoor plumbing... and the outhouse was quite a ways from the main house.. so anyway.. as he got older, the trip to the outhouse in the middle of the night got to be to much for him so he would go off the front porch.. and save himself the long walk in the cold. Well.. this upset his wife and so she had a lil' talk with him.. patiently explaining that he shoudn't do that cause the neighbors would see him and know what he was doing. She made him promise to not do it anymore and they both said *eh* to the pact. Well, it turned very COLD and he had to go bad in the middle of the nite so he got up and went outdoors. He came back pretty fast and his wife said to him. "You weren't gone very long, you went off the porch eh??" He could not lie to her.. so he confessed.. "Eh.. yep." She sighed and said.. "ya know... neighbors will know it was you and what you were doing out there!" He said: "Nah, they wont know it was me, I squatted down!"