For those of you that are married or almost married.

Just is What Is Marriage?

1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence).
   
   
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
   
   
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Master's.
   
   
4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
   
   
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.
   
   
6. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
   
   
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
   
   
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
   
   
9. Son:
   
   How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
   Father:
   
   I don't know son, I am still paying for it.
   
   
10. Son:
    
    Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
    Father:
    
    That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
    
    
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
    
    
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
    
    
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
    
    
14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now his is going through HELL.
    
    
15. Confucius says:
    
    man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink.
    
    
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
    
    
17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
    
    
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
    
    
19. Marriage is man and a woman becomes one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
    
    
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
    
    
21. I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    
    
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
    
    
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
    
    
24. A man was complaining to a friend:
    
    I HAD IT ALL, MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. MY WIFE FOUND OUT.
    
    
25. WIFE:
    
    Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
    
    HUSBAND:
    
    OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
    
    
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
    
    AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
    
    The other replied
    
    YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.
    
    
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
    
    
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
    
    
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing
    
    YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
    
    
30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.
    
    
31. A woman was telling her friend:
    
    IT IS I WHO MADE MY HUSBAND A MILLIONAIRE.
    
    The friend asked
    
    AND WHAT WAS HE BEFORE YOU MARRIED HIM?
    
    The woman replied:
    
    A BILLIONAIRE.